3 months

Today is June 21st. On March 21st at 3:53 am you were pulled forth from my stomach with a huge cry. I sobbed from joy and relief behind the blue drape that separated me from seeing you. It was a while before they handed you to Daddy and at that point the morphine kept me from seeing you clearly, but I knew you were perfect. When I was brought back to my room, you were placed into my arms and I held you up to my nose and breathed you in. Your real, natural unaltered scent. It was a perfect moment.

Over the next few days in the hospital it was just me and you most of the time. I got to learn every single inch of your body. I enjoyed snuggling you close, pulling off your hats to admire your head of dark hair. Unswaddling you to peek at your dark gray eyes. Touching your tiny toes and fingers.

When we got home, I loved feeling you sleep on me, when you pushed your body into my neck so you could snuggle there. Love was when I could make you stop crying simply with a cuddle.

Over these past three months I have watched you change from a newborn to a baby, and every day my love for you grows and changes too. I live for one of your smiles or coos. I laugh when you punch me in the face. I smile when you grin at your toys with your bright eyes.

You are getting to be so big now Peyton, and while I love every second of it, a small part of me is sad because I am watching a baby grow, change and meet milestones for the last time. Try not to grow as fast as Krystal and Joey did. I want to love my baby as long as you will let me